“What will people think?!” is a manipulative lever drilled into Good Girls.
The Good Girl Rules say you are a selfless servant responsible for keeping everyone happy.
The others you must keep happy include a team of judges who are supposedly fascinated by everything you do and say.
Good Girls can be kept in line by simply asking, “What will people think if you do that?
The others you must keep happy include a team of judges who are supposedly fascinated by everything you do and say.
Good Girls can be kept in line by simply asking, “What will people think if you do that?
In my house, it was the neighbors. I was regularly reminded about keeping happy.
Those darn neighbors supposedly cared about my clothes, my makeup, the boys/men I dated, my grades at school – and later what I did in my job – even when I lived in another state!
Logically, this does not make sense.
And yet, so many women I’ve worked with continue to struggle with the judges in their lives – even as successful women…
- “I can’t ask for what I want. That doesn’t feel very nice and – what will people think if I do?”
- “I can’t turn down their request for help – what will others say if I do?”
My old neighbors are dead now and still periodically pop into my mind.
(I laugh when it happens now – but I sure didn’t used to!)
Breaking free from Good Girl Rules includes finding and deactivating the power of the imaginary jailers we fear making unhappy – and continue to hold us back.
(I laugh when it happens now – but I sure didn’t used to!)
Breaking free from Good Girl Rules includes finding and deactivating the power of the imaginary jailers we fear making unhappy – and continue to hold us back.